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The first time..

I was only 16 years old when I met him. He came out of nowhere and found me…little me only 3 years after my father had passed. I was young, lonely, naïve and emotional during this time. I had no clue who I was at that age, and even less about what I was about to be put through….. But I thought I had it all figured out when he came into my life. I still remember the first time I saw him. Nothing else mattered. I was full of emotions and I found myself being curious if he noticed me as much as I noticed him. Damn that local grocery store!! I would see him almost every week as I walked in with my mother…. The first few times, he didn’t notice me but I sure did notice him. Then one day, he said hi. That’s all it took. A simple hello and I was hooked. We exchanged numbers and began speaking on the phone. Our conversations would last for hours, sometimes all night. We would talk about my father and his passing, school, friends, and work. He would talk about being kicked out of his parent’s home, how hard it was to be on his own at 18 and not finishing school, etc. In some weird obsessive way, I felt obligated to take care of him. This came quickly after our first few conversations. He sounded so excited to talk to me on the phone but so lonely all at the same time. I was drawn to that. Some call it the “Jesus syndrome” and I guess that’s what you could say happened to me. I wanted to protect him, take care of him, and save him……